Lessons From All The Boys I Loved Before

Love is such a beautiful thing. To love and to be loved is perhaps the very meaning of existence. But as all life lessons, there are no hacks to it. To learn something as important and difficult as love, experiences must be faced, and overcome. Only these will allow an understanding of the essence behind the force that makes life worth living.

Before my husband, I only had one boyfriend whom I’ve been with since college until a couple of years after graduation. After him, as I was working, I had dated other gentlemen from different backgrounds, all of whom have given me perspectives on being in a relationship. But it is truly with my last boyfriend, whom I married, that I have learned from the most. It is this relationship that ultimately unveiled the better woman in me.

Attraction is not enough

   We all know it starts with the magic of attraction. You can get interested in someone because of beauty, style, talent, charisma, or even just the sound of a voice. But remember, attraction is normally a quick reaction to a stimulus, in this case, a particular feature or trait which does not represent the totality of the person. Admiration for a certain feature of someone does not mean automatically loving everything else about the other. Take time to know the person you’re attracted to. It will always be worth it.

Honesty is the best policy

   You will never go wrong by being truthful. Like how the saying goes, the truth will set you free. By establishing truthfulness at the center of your relationship, you won’t have any unnecessary baggage, nor any problem too difficult to face as it is always shared together. Always say what you mean, and mean what you say.  An honest heart will never be afraid to speak when another honest heart is always ready to listen.

Play dumb wisely

Certainly, there are things that can be let go. Not everything is up for discussion. Do not overanalyze things that won’t kill you both. Sometimes it is wise to play the fool who takes things as they come to make the moment more fun or to give your partner the occasional ego boost. Be smart enough to know that not everything should be an issue.

Move to your own groove

   You are as much as your own self as you are a unit with your partner. Continue doing things that define you. Don’t give up on your passion and interests. Maintain a time for yourself to re-energize. This will allow you to wear all other hats gracefully.

Keep the power of spontaneity

   Make your relationship exciting. Give gifts even if it’s not his birthday. Go somewhere random on a Tuesday at 2pm. Treat him to dinner. Do that trick that will make his eyes pop. Allow spontaneity to spice up your relationship. Let the wild and crazy be part of the relationship’s beauty.

Love completely

When things get confusing, and when no textbook, article nor blog could help you handle the situation, find the courage to love even more. Love so strong, love ever so unconditionally, because only a love so unselfish can help you discern one who’s worth holding on to or need to be let go. And the pain that comes along in giving that love, makes you even better in loving some more.

I hope this sweet list enriches you with insight as you live through your own love journey.

Learned a lot from your past relationships? Share your hard-earned truths in matters of the heart by commenting below!